"Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows."
My ASMR game is strong today.
I just made a red wine chocolate cake covered in ganache & red wine soaked strawberries for a dessert special for this weekend.
"The reality is a happily single person is just as happy as a happily married person. Focus on happy, not status. You’re too excellent to be worried about spending your life alone. Several men aren’t thinking about marriage, but there are several who are. That’s no concern of yours. Your concern should be you. I can’t stress enough that we pay attention to you when you pay attention to you. A woman’s greatest assets and attributes are revealed when she’s on her own journey of self-discovery. At your very best, you will attract the exact person intended for you. No gimmicks required. So sit back. Relax. Have some wine. Get to know you. Enjoy life and see what it brings. Good things are happening. Be a part of those things. Be fulfilled without a full calendar and your cell phone ringing. Eat out alone. Enjoy a movie by yourself. That’s how men find you…when you find you. It’s no wonder “me” comes before “men.” In order to secure the latter, you must secure the aforementioned."
Enitan Bereola (via ihu0ma)
I have been preaching this from a very young age and still today, I will live and die by this.
Inappropriate on sooo many levels.
But Jesus fucking Christ I WANT IT!!!